A Letter to My Kids on Mother's Day

Mother's Day
May 8, 2011


Dear Aaron, Elijah, Andrew, and Hadley,

I know I normally make a card for your mom on Mother's Day, but this time I wanted to write you a letter about her. I want to share a little bit about why she is a wonderful mother. I hope you think she is because there are very few sure things in life but this is one of them.

Your mom didn't just become a great mom overnight. Her preparation began along time ago, even before she was born. From many of the stories I hear, your Great-grandma Joyce was quite a wonderful mother. She had 5 children, Sue, Robin, Becky, Tim, and Jacque. She had to be very creative with the way she spent the money on clothes and food when her kids were growing up. She made a lot of the kids clothes, including Easter dresses and they even managed to have dessert most meals. Sue, Becky, Tim, and Jacque are some of your mom's aunts and uncles, but Robin is your mom's mom, you call her Grandma Robin.

Your mom had a great childhood and her mom had a lot to do with that. Grandma Robin taught your mom a lot of things. She taught her to sew, cook, save money, and love her family. Your mom loves kids because Grandma Robin loved kids so much. Your mom always had baby dolls she took care of, and when she wasn't caring for baby dolls, she was playing with her cousins Erin and Rachel or some other baby. Grandma Robin and your mom love to do projects together. They make crafts, sew cute clothes, make Christmas ornaments and many other things together. That's why your mom likes to do those things with you.

Your Grandpa Ron, your mom's dad, also contributed a lot to your mom's development into a wonderful mother. If you haven't noticed, your mom loves to chit chat. You can thank Grandpa Ron for that. He never met a stranger and your mother loves to make small talk with others. Your mom makes people feel important when she chats with them. Many times people share important things with your mom because she listens and will talk to them when someone else might not. Your mom will always listen to you if you need to talk.

Grandpa Ron works hard. Grandpa Ron gets up early, works hard all day and goes to bed tired. He thinks that sleeping until seven o'clock counts as sleeping in. He taught your mom that hard work is a valuable thing and you should do your best in everything. Your mom works hard every day, whether it is doing things around the house or working with babies to help them develop into happy, healthy school-aged kids. Your mom works hard at home to keep the house looking nice for you, me, and your friends who come over to play.

Your Grandpa Ron and Grandma Robin taught your mom about Jesus. They went to church and helped your mom learn things from the Bible and eventually accept Jesus as her savior. Of all the things they taught your mom, this was the most important.

Your mom went to college here in Evansville, IN, a long way away from her mom and dad. Her mom and dad loved her enough to let her go to college where she wanted even though it meant they wouldn't see her as much as they would like to. Then, your mom graduated, got a job, got married and decided to stay here to live. Your mom values family time. She misses her family in Colorado and cherishes every moment she gets to be with them, but she values our family even more so she has sacrificed time with her mom and dad to be the best mom for you that she can be.

Your mom is cool. I'm not sure who she got that from, except maybe her husband (wink, wink). She dresses cool, she talks cool, and she acts cool. She reads cool books so she can discuss them with you, she watches cool movies with you, she rocks at video games, uh, scratch that, she is terrible at video games except for Wii Tennis. Your mom wants to be the mom who feeds your stinky teenage friends snacks after school or on the weekend. She wants to have the house your friends want to hang out at. Do you know why? Because she loves you and wants to provide you with a fun and safe place to have a good time.

Your mom is creative. She loves to make things and she loves to watch you kids make things. God created the earth and in many ways, when we are creating things with our hands, we are imitating God.

Your mom is silly. She loves to make you laugh. When you are older she will love to be silly and embarrass you around your friends.

Your mom is smart. She worked hard in school and got good grades. She graduated college with great grades despite me trying to drag her away from studying. But most of all she's smart because she married me.

Your mom is generous. Your mom is generous with her time and her energy. She helps when her friends need it. She makes dresses for little girls in Haiti who don't have any. She helps you with school projects when she has other things to do. She takes cookies or banana bread to Miss Agnes and listens as Miss Agnes talks away.

Your mom is beautiful. She is beautiful on the inside and outside. Your mom's appearance is what I noticed about her first, but her character, her love for others, and her love for Jesus is what kept me calling and bugging her to go on a date.

Your mom loves you. Of all the things she will give you throughout your life, her love is the most important. Your toys will get lost or broken, you will outgrow your clothes, but you will never lose or outgrow her love for you. Her love wakes you up in the morning for school and her love packs your lunch. Her love cooks your dinner and snuggles you when you are sick. Her love carried you for nine months and fed you in the middle of the night. Her love will cry at your graduation remembering your first haircut and your first day of Kindergarten. Her love will light the candle at your wedding and her love will invite your husband or wife into our family as one of her own.

Learn from her example, be silly, be generous, work hard, pick a wonderful mate (wink, wink), and love Jesus. If you learn those things from her, you will be a beautiful person inside and out, just like her.


With Love,
Dad

I Like Rob Bell

Rob Bell is coming out with a new book. I'm really excited about it even though I've never actually read one of his books all the way through. I've listened to a couple audio books, watched a couple of his full length seminar videos, and watched several of his Nooma videos. I have been very impressed and I have seen enough of him to know that I like Rob Bell.

I've had the feeling while watching and listening to him, that he was controversial. I couldn't put my finger on it but something about him just whispered, "I don't fit in with the Christian mainstream. They don't like me. I make them uncomfortable." Maybe it's his liberal slant (politically speaking) towards the poor and the environment. I'm guessing he listens to NPR more than Fox News. He just doesn't fit in and I think that is why I like him.

I love to see the stereotypical church goer uncomfortable. I love it when Tommy, a drummer in our middle class, Midwestern, mainstream church, has his mohawk dyed red and green for Christmas service or our worship team plays a special from Evanescence or the Beatles. This is how I see Rob Bell effecting the church. He brings up questions that make us squirm and sometimes question things we have not worked out for ourselves, things we just believed on face value because our parents, pastor, or Sunday school teacher told us to.

There has already been some controversy regarding the new book, which doesn't hit shelves for another four weeks. Some think it is a marketing stunt but others believe it is a dangerous direction to take readers. Several well respected people in the church have questioned his theology saying he is approaching or embracing Universalism. As I understand it, universalism is the belief that everyone goes to heaven and that hell is empty. “Love Wins” will be interesting to read and I look forward to seeing where he falls on the issue. Depending on where he lands, it may be the last book of his I read or listen to. I sure hope not because I like Rob Bell.

A Stroll Down the Beach

We are in Jupiter, Florida for Spring Break because of the kindness of a friend. We are staying in a house for the week less than a mile from the beach. We have been to Disney where we spent way too much money, are heading to Sea World at the end of the week, and we are going to spend way too much money again I'm sure. But for now, we are enjoying the week in a home near the beach, what I like to call "The Actual Vacation" part of our vacation.

We went to the Loggerhead Marinelife Center this morning and got to see some loggerhead, hawksbill, and green sea turtles that were being rehabilitated due to injuries from sharks or boat propellers. Many of the sea turtles were there with pneumonia due to the recent cold weather in Florida. Once we bought a few souvenirs (various forms of turtles on hats, shirts, and bracelets) we had a picnic lunch at the nearby park.

It was a gorgeous day with temperatures near 80 and crystal blue skies. The water was refreshing and only cold if you got out of the water. Juno Beach was being dredged and there are piles of shells and coral piled in various places along the beach making shell hunting like shooting fish in a barrel. Janet took Andrew, Eli, and Hadley to one of the piles of shells while Aaron and I bobbed up and down with the waves. Andrew decided to head back to our beach chairs and to set down his bucket and Janet gathered up Eli and Hadley from their excavation spots. I saw Janet arrive at our chairs and she asked me where Andrew was. I had not seen him and she glanced back at the shell pile but he was not there. She quickly checked a little further north as I checked a little south.

We could not find him.

I ran to the lifeguard station and they quickly got a description of him and one of the guards took the four wheeler north towards the pier. Janet started asking people to look for Andrew as I walked south. I came back without him and Janet was empty armed as well. The four wheeler arrived back without locating him so the driver went across the road and checked the bathrooms and park. No sign of Andrew. The four wheeler then drove further south than I had gone and I went to wait with Janet. A lady named Linda stayed with the other 3 kids as they began to become anxious too.

We started hearing comments from beach goers such as, "They really need more patrols out here" and "someone needs to call the police and check the woods." I went back to check on the other three kids and Eli was beginning to cry. We then heard a whistle from the lifeguard station and they yelled to Janet that they found him, he was OK and they would be back in a few minutes. Janet relayed the message to me and I ran back to the lifeguard station. We could see the four wheeler heading back north to us and when they were about 150 yards away I saw Andrew's little reddish brown mop peak around the driver of the four wheeler.

They found him.

Janet immediately buried her head in my shoulder and started sobbing as I tried to console her. The four wheeler arrived and Andrew hopped off completely unaware of all the fuss being made over him. I'm not sure how long the whole ordeal was (I'm guessing about 20 minutes)but it was long enough for Andrew to go almost a mile down the beach and thankfully a group of some college kids remembered seeing him when they were approached by the lifeguard.

I thought I knew what fear was. I thought I knew what it felt like. I thought I knew how to handle it. I'm reading a book now called "Fearless" ironically. Evidently, I can't claim the title of that book yet. Today I learned a new level of fear and today I was taught that there is an even deeper level of fear that I thankfully didn't have to experience. Even though it was for a very brief moment, I had to contemplate how I could go on after losing a child. I'm not sure I could but somehow I would have to.

I always say that I love my children a little more everyday, but today it feels different: a deeper, wider, heart overflowing like Andrew's bucket full of shells kind of love.

And just in case you ever wonder...

I love you, Janet.
I love you, Aaron.
I love you, Eli.
I love you, Andrew.
I love you, Hadley.

I am a truly blessed man.


Justin

WebMD, Church, and a Giant First Step

Most of you have probably heard of WebMD, but for those of you that haven't, WebMD is a site where you can find all sorts of information regarding medical matters, such as what to expect from certain tests or treatments from your doctor or laboratory. Sounds pretty useful doesn't it? Well, the site also functions as a diagnostic tool and, if you haven't tried it out for yourself yet, I suggest you avoid it.

Several years ago my heart was "fluttering" or felt like it was skipping a beat periodically. There did not seem to be a pattern, rhyme, or reason for it. So I went to WebMD and searched for various symptoms like "fluttering", "irregular", and "heartrate" just to see what could be the problem. That was a big mistake for a worrier like me. WebMD gave me a list of ailments and maladies that I was sure were going to be my demise. I had been exhibiting symptoms from almost all of the conditions listed, anything from congenital heart failure, arteriosclerosis, a torn achilles, and they said I may have even been pregnant. It was awful.

I had a WebMD moment in church this morning. The pastor was talking about Pride. He gave the list of the symptoms for someone struggling with Pride and I was suffering from all of the them: arrogance, insecurity, defensiveness, and being overly critical. While these may not bring about my immediate death, they sure have the ability to impact my life and the lives around me.

Just last night my wife innocently commented that she would like to have a wood laminate floor in the dining room and I instantly jumped to the conclusion that she was unhappy with my ability to provide for the family and lack of "handyman" skills. Sounds like insecurity and defensiveness to me and I have times when I am overly critical with the kids, my wife, and even myself. I struggle with arrogance too, especially when I feel that I deserve better than what I have received.

While I was not actually suffering arteriosclerosis or congenital heart failure or anything else WebMD proposed those many years ago, I am confident at my diagnosis as a prideful man. I don't appear to be suffering this disease alone however. C.S. Lewis said "There is one vice of which no man in the world is free...the vice I am talking of is Pride."

Thankfully, it appears that today in church I also took a big first step by realizing I am prideful. C.S. Lewis also pointed out that "If anyone would like to acquire humility, I can, I think, tell him the first step. The first step is to realize that one is proud." One step down, but I have a feeling the rest of the steps will take the rest of my life to perfect. I better get started...


Justin

The Baseball or Hallmark Hall of Fame

One of my favorite pastimes is sitting at the baseball field in the summer watching any of my 3 boys play baseball. I love sports but baseball in particular. I love baseball like my wife loves Hallmark Hall of Fame movies. Just like my wife taking in one of her favorite movies, sometimes I laugh, sometimes I get angry, and sometimes I cry. Last summer, Janet's love for tear-jerkers and my love of baseball came together in one single night at the baseball diamond.

My oldest son was on a team with a boy whose two parents helped coach the team. The boy, Jacob, was 12 years old and I had seen their family around the baseball park for a couple summers. The father didn't appear to be in the best health due to his weight but he was always at the ballpark helping coach his son.

One evening we got to the ballpark and things seemed to be a little weird. As it got closer to game time an announcement was made to the team and parents that Jacob's dad had died the previous evening. But, despite their loss, Jacob and his mother came to the game to play and coach. Here's where the plot of the story becomes a movie.

Jacob played first base and hit cleanup for our team. During his first at bat he let the first pitch go by just as his dad always told him to. Choking up just a little bit, moving closer to the plate, and a little farther back in the batters box, he was ready for the second pitch. Jacob swung; it was the hardest hit ball I had seen him hit all year and it cleared the fence easily for his first ever over-the-fence home run. Jacob's mom, who was coaching third base screamed with joy and heartache all at the same time and as Jacob got to third base, they shared an embrace that lasted as long as Barry Bonds admiring one of his own home runs. There wasn't a dry eye in the bleachers or even in my lawn chair for that matter.

The baseball was retrieved and given to Jacob's mother and she held it tighter than I have ever seen a mother hold anything before. Jacob was all smiles in the dugout and getting high fives from his teammates. Then, the reality of the situation sank in. His dad wasn't there to see it...and he began to cry.

This was one Hallmark Hall of Fame moment that I am glad I witnessed. The only plot detail missing from this movie was the silhouette of his dad standing in the first base coaches box as he hit the home run. For Jacob's sake, I sure wish that hadn't been left out.


Justin

The Perception Problem

I'm not sure why it is the case, but I have always seemed to be a social chameleon. I played sports in high school (basketball and baseball) but I was also in the band. I was the only person in the band who played any of the three most "popular" sports. I'm not sure why it was the case but I never seemed to take the grief that many of my friends in the band seemed to take from the "cool" kids. I wore the plumed hat and uniform just like everyone else in the band but I could still go to Gatti's after the basketball game with the jocks and cheerleaders. On the flipside, I was able to hang out with my friends in the band, listening to our mix tapes of Poison, Weird Al, and Michael Bolton without the whispers of "He thinks he is better than us" or "Look who decided to grace us with his presence."

I feel the same way today when it comes to my friends. I am just as comfortable sitting in my living room leading my christian friends in a Bible Study as I am listening to another friends' band at the Deerhead Tavern. Because of this, I've had some pretty candid conversations with my non-christian friends about their perceptions of the church, and while some of those perceptions may not be true, some are and all of them, true or not, are obstacles to them seeing Christ as He truly is.

Christ is suffering from a perception problem. Because of this, it is vital that I am open, that I am honest, and that I am real with my friends because I may be the one that He is using to begin to change the perceptions they have of Him. I don't want to magnify the problem, I want to be part of the solution.


Justin